Summer

I did something today I haven't done in years. Many years. I put on a swimsuit ~ and I didn't even cry. For years I've hidden behind the memories of myself as a teenager...the 100 pound girl in a tiny, aqua-colored Op bikini...the girl who laughed, played hard, and lived life in the sun. Today something resurfaced within me . It was a bit like DejaVu. I think it has a name: Summer.


There was a time when I loved summer above all other seasons. As a child, my grandmother's house in the country provided a treasure trove of entertaining indulgences. There were no worries of strangers, and the biggest "danger" was the scare of a long black snake overhead in one of the many large maple trees. We played croquet in the "back forty" and swam in a pool filled with ice cold well water. In town there were adventures as well. The neighborhood kids played games of Tag that spanned an entire block. Our parents never doubted that we'd arrive home safely in time for lunch, and then again before dark. Once the night descended, we simply confined our play within the perimeter of someone's yard. Bedtime did not come until hours after so many lightning bugs were caught...and then set free again until tomorrow. And my thoughts on summer cannot be separated from my memories of church...of youth group excursions, of good times at camp, of the friends I met and never let go.


I'd be lying if I didn't admit to feeling a bit sad when I think back on all these things. My children will never know the childhood freedoms I have known. They will never experience absolute abandon absent of all fear. But I'm also a bit sad when I think of my old friends... Life has a way of twisting the paths of "what might have been" or, maybe more accurately, who we might have become. We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere. ~Tim McGraw Today there was sunshine on my shoulders and sunkisses on my cheeks. Sometimes, sometimes, that's all you need to warm your heart and dry the tears. I miss you, my friend. There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and unspeakable love. ~Washington Irving

Before I go I must return to the mention of swimsuits...or, well, whatever. Sometimes the pool presents itself before the suit. Anyway, my daughter is taking swimming lessons at a private pool nearby. I spent so much time at this particular house in high school years ago, when it was owned by someone else...with friends, running amok indoors (seems I remember something about a Roman Candle spewing fire in the family room), diving into the pool late at night under the moon.

"Nightswimming"

REM

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night.

The photograph on the dashboard, taken years ago,

Turned around backwards so the windshield shows.

Every streetlight reveals the picture in reverse.

Still, it's so much clearer.

I forgot my shirt at the water's edge.

The moon is low tonight.

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night.

I'm not sure all these people understand.

It's not like years ago,

The fear of getting caught,

Of recklessness and water.

They cannot see me naked.

These things, they go away,

Replaced by everyday.

Nightswimming, remembering that night.

September's coming soon.

I'm pining for the moon.

And what if there were two

Side by side in orbit

Around the fairest sun?

That bright, tight forever drum

Could not describe nightswimming.

You, I thought I knew you.

You I cannot judge.

You, I thought you knew me,

this one laughing quietly underneath my breath.

Nightswimming.

The photograph reflects,

Every streetlight a reminder.

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night, deserves a quiet night.

Summer...I'm glad you're back.