Crossroads

You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make. Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now? Don't think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully.
~ Anthony Robbins

Someone I'm quite close to shared an interesting thought with me recently. She said, "You know, I'm at a point in my life when I am no longer accepting applications in the Friend Department. My people just 'get' me. If they don't, it's time to break contract." I've thought a lot about her statement. It's not that my friend isn't open to new relationships. It's just that she's no longer willing to work for the acceptance. You either 'get' her or you don't. I 'get' her. I understand her...and although her political leanings, in my opinion anyway, tend to run a bit askew (sorry girlfriend, but you know you'd say the same about mine), she really 'gets' me too. I love a friend who truly understands the intentions of my heart. It's a solid foundation for some great camaraderie regardless of our differences of opinion. Just last evening I received her text... "What are you doing? If you're not busy, come on over. I need a diversion...and your smile." Anata wa subarashii tomodachi desu. I mean it. Yours is a contract that is worth the renewal.

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn. ~ David Russell

Perhaps it's the age (fortyfortyforty). Perhaps it's the oldest daughter's recent graduation and impending departure to collegiate life. Maybe it's knowing that even so, daycare bills still scream at my checkbook, and the orthodontist continues to longingly contemplate the miracle he will work in yet another daughter's mouth (for a price, of course). Then there's the matter of my career, and committee work, and memberships in organizations with important agendas, and research projects, and emotional upheavals, and and and... I'd be tempted to liken this to a midlife crisis but won't, for a couple of reasons. First, I refuse to believe I'm at "my" middle age (I just can't get it all done in 80 years.) AND the term crisis doesn't resonate well with me. I think I like juncture...or turning point...or decisive moment a bit better. I do know that 40 seems to come with some sort of expectation of maturity. At this rate, I'm going to stay young for a very, very long time. I have much to consider in my life, which leaves me little time for the business of growing up. All I really know for sure is that today I'm going to be good to myself...and others. I hope you will too.

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.
~ Flora Whittemore

Some choices we live not only once but a thousand times over, remembering them the rest of our lives. ~ Richard Bach

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"Elijah"
Rich Mullins

The Jordan is waiting for me to cross through
My heart is aging I can tell
So Lord, I'm begging for one last favor from You
Here's my heart take it where You will

This life has shown me how we're mended and how we're torn
How it's okay to be lonely as long as you're free
Sometimes my ground was stoney
And sometimes covered up with thorns
And only You could make it what it had to be
And now that it's done
Well if they dressed me like a pauper
Or if they dined me like a prince
If they lay me with my fathers
Or if my ashes scatter on the wind
I don't care

But when I leave I want to go out like Elijah
With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire
And when I look back on the stars
It'll be like a candlelight in Central Park
And it won't break my heart to say goodbye

There's people been friendly, but they'd never be your friends
Sometimes this has bent me to the ground
Now that this is all ending
I want to hear some music once again
'Cause it's the finest thing that I have ever found

But the Jordan is waiting
Though I ain't never seen the other side
Still they say you can't take in the things you have here
So on the road to salvation
I stick out my thumb and He gives me a ride
And His music is already falling on my ears

There's people been talking
They say they're worried about my soul
Well, I'm here to tell you I'll keep rocking
'Til I'm sure it's my time to roll
And when I do

When I leave I want to go out like Elijah
With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire
And when I look back on the stars
It'll be like a candlelight in Central Park
And it won't break my heart to say goodbye