Finale

And so it has arrived, this last day of break.  For the first time in years it is a bit difficult to say goodbye to summertime.  It is not just this season that is coming to a close...it is an entire year.  So much has unfolded these past twelve months.  It seems like just yesterday I was out celebrating with coworkers after an Open House at school...the night that I met my new first graders and their parents...the night when I said hello again to an old friend... I wonder what this year will bring?  Let's hope it's a wild ride. 

Breathe (2 a.m.)

Anna Nalick

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table

No one can find the rewind button, girl.

So cradle your head in your hands

And breathe... just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe

*     *     * 

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song

If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,

Threatening the life it belongs to

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd

Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud

And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

Today will be a busy one and so I will not actually publish this post until the day is done.  I have an appointment with Dr. K and although I have enjoyed our relationship, I am hoping to soon close the chapter in my life entitled, "Health Concerns of Unknown Origin."  And even though I've developed great rapport with "Chris, the Phlebotemist," I'm ready to say adios to him as well.  (As I return to finish this, I admit I was overzealous.  Dr. K and his staff would simply miss me too much if I disappeared from their appointment roster completely.  Oh well.)

The most precious aspect of today will be simply breathing the same air as my children.  There are transitions in my life here as well.  My eldest will be leaving the nest soon.  Eighteen-point-five years have gotten us to this point, step by step, but somehow my heart has not put on its walking shoes and is lagging far, far behind.  I hope McKenzie will carry a piece of it along with her.  I love you, frotten.  (And here is the postscript to that note...not an original, but her shared sentiments nonetheless.  Wow, what an amazing kid.  My kid.  Mine.)

On that note (McKenzie, that is) the family...the ENTIRE family (grandparents included) met Mc's boyfriend.  Finally.  Last evening she proved to all of us that he really does exist and has not been a mere figment of her imagination for all of these many months.  He is nice.  And she is lovely.  And I think a bit of my heart is breaking.  Again.  My prayer is that she will be good to herself...and to those around her.  Again, McKenzie Bean, I love you.

Landslide

Stevie Nicks

   

Took my love and I took it down

Climbed a mountain and I turned around

And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills

Well, the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?

Can the child within my heart rise above?

Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?

Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changin'

'Cause I've built my life around you

But time makes bolder, children get older

I'm getting older too

It's getting late and I am growing sleepy.  Tomorrow is a big day.  Lane begins preschool; Ally celebrates a birthday, and I return to work ~ officially.  And although I hate to see my summer go, I'll look back fondly on the yesterdays it holds.  For now I'm happy to be FORTY and feeling fabulous.  It seems I've waited my entire life to get to this precise point.  It truly is the first day of the rest of my life.  xoxo  ~S.