Time

Dear Dad,

There is an old clock, centuries old, that sits on my piano.  Grandpa had an affinity for fixing clocks and this one was no exception...

In 1941, you began your entrance into this world at your parents' home.  You were a large baby, and grandpa had no inclination to assist with childbirth.  He summoned the doctor.  The physician insisted it would be a long night and expressed his intent to return later, once labor had progressed.  Grandpa had other plans.  He had no qualms about brandishing his shotgun to keep the gentleman at bay.  Hours later you arrived, all ten pounds of you, and only then did the doctor make his escape.

...Many years later, Grandpa was the one summoned to the old doctor's house.  The man's clock had stopped working and your father was asked to fix it.  "You don't remember me, do you?"  The doctor replied that he did not, at which time your dad proceeded to remind him of the long ago story.  Upon its delivery, after the clock was successfully running again, the doctor (unable to hold a grudge) gifted the piece to Grandpa...who then gifted it to you...who then gifted it to me.  I remember this story.  I remember you.

Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life. ~William Faulkner

In this photograph, you are thirty years old.  Today, you would have been seventy...if only you were here.  It has been nearly three years since I last kissed you goodbye, but I had already been missing you long before you  passed away.  As I enter the second half of my life, I often wish you were near. Could we see when and where we are to meet again, we would be more tender when we bid our friends goodbye. ~Marie Louise De La Ramee

"Old as she was, she still missed her Daddy sometimes." ~Gloria Naylor

This is the dad of my heart ~ the grown-up kid who lived and laughed and loved me, the dad who kept his demons at bay, the dad who would be proud of me today ~ the dad I carry with me, always:

Opportunities fly by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone. ~Jerome K. Jerome, 1889   Today is your birthday, and I am marching on.  I love and miss you.  Fortunately, Mom loves me enough for the both of you.  That is what sustains me. 

xoxo, your Stephanie