Sunshine

I'll admit it. I'm nearly 40. As a child I viewed this turning point as the dawn of old age. As an adult, I'm accepting my reality as the dawn of the rest of my life. I like the latter prospect so much better. It signifies that once again, I'm still early in the game. Attitude is everything!

Having acknowledged that, I'm feeling a little tug on the heartstrings today. These words are from The Grateful Dead's "Box of Rain" and go out to a friend...

Look out of any window
any morning, any evening, any day
Maybe the sun is shining
birds are winging or
rain is falling from a heavy sky -
What do you want me to do,
to do for you to see you through?
This is all a dream we dreamed
one afternoon long ago
Walk out of any doorway
feel your way, feel your way
like the day before
Maybe you'll find direction
around some corner
where it's been waiting to meet you -
What do you want me to do,
to watch for you while you're sleeping?
Well please don't be surprised
when you find me dreaming too

Look into any eyes
you find by you, you can see
clear through to another day
I know it's been seen before
through other eyes on other days
while going home --
What do you want me to do,
to do for you to see you through?
It's all a dream we dreamed
one afternoon long ago

Walk into splintered sunlight
Inch your way through dead dreams
to another land
Maybe you're tired and broken
Your tongue is twisted
with words half spoken
and thoughts unclear
What do you want me to do
to do for you to see you through
A box of rain will ease the pain
and love will see you through

Just a box of rain -
wind and water -
Believe it if you need it,
if you don't just pass it on
Sun and shower -
Wind and rain -
in and out the window
like a moth before a flame

It's just a box of rain
I don't know who put it there
Believe it if you need it
or leave it if you dare
But it's just a box of rain
or a ribbon for your hair
Such a long long time to be gone
and a short time to be there 

And again, I'll date myself and confess that (shhh) I kind of enjoy a bit of John Denver now and then. Today I'm feeling these lyrics from his song, "Sunshine on My Shoulders"...

If I had a day that I could give you
I'd give to you a day just like today
If I had a song that I could sing for you
I'd sing a song to make you feel this way
***
If I had a tale that I could tell you
I'd tell a tale sure to make you smile
If I had a wish that I could wish for you
I'd make a wish for sunshine all the while

My dear friend told me recently that positive thoughts bring positive results. It is my new mantra... Let it be yours as well.

Return

I am back... It was August since I last visited this blog. I am unsure of where the months have gone, but time has a way of moving quickly along while we're busy with the business of living our lives. I reread my letter from the beginning of the school year and have been reflecting on the students who, very soon, will pass through my classroom door that one, final time. It has been a good year, a productive year of much growth, but at the end of it all I find myself wishing for just a few more moments...moments in which to learn and laugh together, to share the smiles and prolong the memories. And so as the school year faces its inevitable close, I am quickly storing pictures in my heart so that I might return to them often this summer and feel their hug.

Just yesterday I traveled with my eldest daughter to register her for college classes. On the way home, we passed by the river access where my husband and I went fishing on the evening we found out we were expecting our firstborn. It seems like yesterday, yet she is leaving the nest very soon. Emotionally, I am conflicted. Her entrance into my life completely altered it...and made all the difference. I am grateful for the gift. She is ready to go, and I am so ready for her to stay. I wonder if I will ever be able to reconcile the array of feelings in my heart. Such are the pangs of the mother I suppose. I love you, sweet McKenzie, with all my heart.

We journeyed home from St. Louis courtesy of Missouri Route 94. It is one of the most scenic byways in the state and with a bit of creativity, I could almost believe I was in Appalachia... my beloved Smoky Mountains. The views along the hills and curves were breathtaking, and Cardinals baseball provided the perfect backdrop. (Mike Shannon's radio voice is one of my favorite sounds in this world!) The wineries along the way were packed with motorcyclists who, too, were enjoying the weather and the views. We stopped at tiny Treloar and had dinner in the old bar there. I loved the atmosphere...time has stood still within its doors for decades. We enjoyed a burger, a bit of baseball, a game of pool, and hearty conversations with patrons whose names we'll never know. Sometimes you don't need the name to know the friend...

...and although I may not know yours, it's good to be with you again. I've missed you. Truly, I am back.

*sigh*

It's been awhile. I've missed this blog ~ but I would have otherwise missed much more... This summer has been an unexpected smile. The weather has been quite cordial, reminding me of what I loved of the season when I was [much, much] younger. The days of heat and humidity seemed to be held together only by one hand...sent fleeing at my first inclination toward irritation. And so, as a backdrop to my children's merriment, I have enjoyed the loveliest of fairweather seasons to grace my home in a long, long time.

School doors have opened and I have been busy there. Very, very soon I will meet my new family of twenty or so. I am excited and I hope they will be too. Yesterday at a staff meeting, we were asked to write letters to ourselves from the perspective of a parent. I share it with apology for the spontaneity with which it was written. But more importantly, I share it as a recorded commitment to the young ones who, I know, will have a positive impact on our world someday...

Dear Mrs. Green,

This year I hope you will teach my child as if she were your own. All of the expectations you have for your own children are important for mine as well. I want my child to develop the traits of empathy and self-control, the willingness to take risks and accept the learning that comes from making mistakes, and an appreciation of the world around her. I hope that my child will see you, too, as a learner so that she will realize that learning is a journey without endpoints. Some of the most critical life lessons will occur in your classroom this year. You have an important role in my child's life and it is my prayer that you value that unceasingly. Know that I am sending my best, and I thank you in advance for doing the same. xoxo

And so we begin...

Here in America

I remember visiting with Rich Mullins years ago as a teen. His advice, written on a note I've kept tucked away somewhere, was simply,

"Be God's."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCUfIT5Lm3g

I love this.

My Country 'Tis of Thee

Beyond any political persuasion, I am a patriot. The Star Spangled Banner never fails to tug at my heartstrings. Fireworks, barbeque, parades, red white and blue, Old Glory, family and friends, freedom, lemonade and apple pie, corn on the cob, laughter... These I love as a part of my 4th of July celebrations.

Sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.

Some time ago I read a book by Cokie Roberts. I think you might enjoy it... Founding Mothers: The Women Who Raised Our Nation is a testament to the heroines who helped clear the American path. It is astounding, their efforts. (And to think I complain about the heat!) I offer a prayer of gratitude for the blessings I so richly enjoy today.

May you have a healthy, happy, and safe Independence Day.

Remember When

I am in love...and I want you to see why. Today my sister and I took a drive downtown.

We spent the day with the kids at "The Castle" (and to a three year-old, it truly is).

We are so blessed to be surrounded by such beauty and history, and to be able to share these with the young people we adore.

It was nice to journey back to a time when the weapons of war were a bit less frightening,

and to visit with old friends at the mercantile.

Mr. Samuel Langhorn Clemens even sat for a picture. His friends know him as Mark Twain.

We took a respite in the House Lounge. Thomas Hart Benton's murals are breathtaking. A plaque outside the entrance states, "He painted the Missouri that was familiar to him, convinced that therein lay the reality of the average Missourian."

I suppose that's why we felt so at home.

We then dropped by to visit with another old friend in the office of the Speaker of the House. Beautiful...the office and the friendly faces.

Wishing you many hometown blessings as you prepare to celebrate in the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Angel Mother

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.” ~Washington Irving

Happy Birthday, Mom.

I love you.